mich growing old…

it’s so strange wat being 21 means to different people..like to some..it’s one of the most important events of a lifetime..to others..it’s just another part of life…I mean..from here.it’s a totally new chapter for a lot of people n I understand that..but doesn’t that just come with age n experience?..necessarily 21?..there’s always this concept of being an adult finally when u reach the age of 21..but doesn’t that mean more responsibilities..like u have to be more in charge..in control of ur life..doesn’t that sucks??..i like buying presents for people..but it’s difficult when u want it to be special n you know that that person wants it to be special…there’s so much more thought into everything..not that there weren’t any in the 1st place..=p..but I like surprising people with the things I buy..sometimes..i get fed up n ask for wat pple want..but I really just want to get u something I like n I think that you will like…doesn’t mean more??..i know it’s a test of my taste n judgement…but I have perfect faith in them…as the quote goes
I may not be perfect…but parts of me are excellent..
heh..i didn’t come up with that…=p..but I think that my judgement n taste is excellent..heh..so wat does being 21 mean to u??..i went for an interview just on Tuesday n they were asking me wat my long term plan was…well..after thinking abt it..it had to be that I want my parents to be able to retire in comfort..n I want to play a part in allowing them to do that…it’s a long way till that…n I know that they prob don’t want me to think abt that kind of things…but I want to…=p..i m going to disappoint them in a way..that is that mich is not going to get married…I know mummy will be upset..but boh pianz lar..no one is in the life that I m envisioning at the moment…=p…u?…1902hr - 270402

pondering mich...

wondering if u ever think about wat u r supposed to do tomorrow...i know that it's like a crazy topic..coz like pple do it all the time..but don't u feel that at one pt or another..it's really pointless?..like i started thinking abt my plan for tmr..like going to sch in the morn to use the gym..meet some pple in sch..come back for lunch n mug for the rest of the day...but i know that something is not going to go according to plan..just a gut feeling...u know how u like to think abt wat to do...abt wat's to come..abt wat to expect..but in the end..u just get disappointed..to build urself up for a huge letdown..wat's the point?..it just feels like that an awful lot..like how i plan to do this much today..only to discover that it's a damn big mess...n that i have to do a lot more just to understand the hell i m supposed to know...n after that..there's not much time in the day left...sighz...yups..spent the day in the hse today...was just attemptin to study principles of finance..n got really frustrated at one pt of time..just coz everything's so messed up..like my lecturer's notes..is not even the bare minimum..how sad is that...so like have to read n read n read n read..........hmm..shall attempt to koon soon...everytime i like take a short rest in the afternoon..for like 20mins or so..i start thinking abt wat i have studied..it's like a freaking nightmare!!!...piangz!!!!....=p 0105 hr - 260402

bored mich...

yet another beautiful day..n yet..once again i m stuck in the library..already..i m sick of typing this out..n i m pretty sure that u r sick of hearing it..but boh pian..that's my life man!!...=p..a lot of studying to be done today..quite happy with my progress today..but have an upset stomach...i dunno..acts up once in a while..shall stick to porridge n mushrooms for a while...=p..dun want to like make it super bad or sthg...yups..yeah!!...sam is coming after all..gdgd...then must tell me where u wanna go n everything..heh..can plan n keep myself less occupied with work..if not will go mad soon..=p..i dunno..i keep saying that i have a lot to go through..but for the past 2 days..i haven't really been doing much work n i feel really guilty..so quite happy today..but still..i think that i don't have a lot of time left..but i think that that's not true..i really dunno lar..piangz..now my throat super dry..it's the weather..n it just feels horrible to be cooped up inside when u have so many other things to do...=p...oh..sam..wat u want for ur bday??..me damn tired of walking..walked for like a few hrs the other day..n couldn't find anything!!!!!....heh..take care k??..stay healthy...=p 1749hr - 24042002

early mich...

hmm..seems like it's forever since i have been awake so early in the morning..as in was awake..it's like 12pm now..n i have already done a million things..ok..not a million..but nearly..=p..it's nice to wake up in the morning after a gd sleep..even though all u hear r cars n traffic n pple...not like birds n wind n insects...i dunno..i like this life..heh..yups..my hsemate actually gave me an article to read on fri..well..so to post this qn out to the universe...'wat if einstein was wrong?..'..well, the article was basically abt the changing constants..n the most significant of all was that wat if the speed of light is changing??...hmm..any physicists out there willing to enlighten me??..heh..i m just one of those who r going to wait n see if anything in the world of physics is going to go through a major breakdown..=p..i haven't been studying much since that day..decided not to be so evil to myself i suppose..dunno..i know that i m supposed to be like ultra stressed out or sthg..but i just m not..not gdnotgd...yups...just got an email from vin...i guess like him..the rest of the guys r going to ord soon..happy??...sure think so..but like it's suddenly all these guys r civilians again..hmm..quite a freaky thought..like the army is supposed to make men out of u all...succeeded??..i seriously doubt so..okok..have to run errands again..sighz..=p 1209hr - 220402

mich's brain malfunctioning...

piangz..this has got to be the day where i have effectively killed all of my braincells..(is that possible?..)..by like mugging in the library for like damn long!!!..went for like 0.5hr break...for lunch..besides that..i have just been rotting away in here....wah lau!!!.cannot take it..heh..me happy though..to like get msgs from more pple..=p..aniwaes..just a short note..coz really can't think much anymore..have to get out of here!!!...have to go home n make dinner..to make myself a little bit more xing fu...decided..my fren n i..during lunch that women is better off earning their own money..muahahhahaha...going mad...=p 1937hr - 190402

nua mich...

this has to be a day where i feel absolutely dead!!!...i m not doing anything productive although i m supposed to be doin like damn a lot of things..=p..i m just nuaing away!!!....my gdness..woke up aching from head to toe..n like my dear thumb is now certified twisted...damn painful..has to be the right thumb to make things worse!!!..hahaha...okok..just a note...i m still traumatised by my taste in men...piangz..30 yrs old..wat the hell...heh..okok...=p 1642hr - 180402

blissful mich...

i have absolutely no idea why this is the title of my blog..i guess..i really like the feeling of bliss..not that i m feeling blissful now..=p..hahaha..neamind...now i m back in the comfort n familiarity of my own room..my tiny corner in the town of london..=p..kinda like the way that sounded..=p...heh..no..was at my sis's place the past wk..just keeping her company..haven't been really productive but fun nonetheless...yups..went to play vball with some pple just now..a bunch of postgrads..(who by the way..make up 1/2 of the sch population here at lse)..a canadian, an american, a german n an argentinian...yups..it was really fun n i love playin with them..no stress..just having fun..=p..aniwaes..i alwaz thot that the american was really attractive..as in not that i want to marry him or anything..just attractive..hmm..aniwaes..to avoid me buryin myself deeper into this..but i just found out today that he is going to be 30 in like 2-3wks time...piangz!!...i got a huge shock...really..i mean..he has white hair n everything..n he does look 30..but i thot that he might be younger..*wishful thinking*..heh..aniwaes..it got me thinking abt wat's the largest age gap between u n ur spouse??...heh..dun ask me y..but hey..wat is the largest gap u r willing to try?...hahahaha...mich going mad here...but heck lar...it's been a pretty hectic day..forgive me..=p..oh...HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIXIN!!!!...finally turning 21...any wishes?...hope that u will get out of the zaizai craze soon...=p..for MY sake...=p 0056 hr - 180402

mich having a thought..

wat would happen if u quarrelled with your friend?..i mean, i have never actually quarrelled with anyone close to me before so i really don't know the actual outcome of this..just reflecting on a recent incident which happened to my sis...it's so strange..u can be friends..but not exactly best of friends...u can quarrel then become the worst of enemies...hmm..wat abt the times u shared together?..wat abt all the things u all talked abt?..y is that pple can be so similar n yet so different?..hmm...it got me thinking..so how abt u?..wat would happen if u quarrelled with your friend?..make up n be better frens coz u understand each other better..or just give up n treat as if that person doesn't exist..coz it just doesn't matter to u....hmm..=p..1535hr - 160402

lousy mich...

isn't is strange when u start feeling lousy abt urself..as if like u really m the shit..the chunk of garbage that everyone throws out..i dun noe y..but i really feel like that now..i started thinking abt how come pple that i think r not capable enough r getting internships n me..i m not..not even close..i mean..academically wise..i know that i have results to show..but is that all there is of me?...i screwed up 2 interviews just because i m clueless abt who i m..abt wat i can do..i think too highly of myself..i suppose..so i guess that there is a reason y i m not employed..it's plain n simple n yet..it bugged me previously for ages..it's just how lousy i m...=p..hmm..u feel down..but not really down enough to go out n drink urself silly..it's so weird..days like these..u just want to hide in ur little corner n hope that the world would forget u exist..n u could like melt away or sthg..but i guess learning to live with urself..with who u r..is where real courage is...hmm..it's going to take a lot for me..hahaha..i m sure to be one hell of a courageous ger...=p..seriously am at a loss now..dunno wat to do..mind's a blank..loss of words..of feelings...sighz...=p..1724hr - 140402

puzzled mich...

i was just in the kitchen of my sis's place and like her hallmate was there too..one of the british gers..n i was just watching her in the kitchen..pple from different cultures really do have different habits..i really thought that things..simple things like cooking..washing of the dishes r quite standard n can't really go that far..but i guess i can be really wrong..living here is opening my small horizons...hmm..it's like they don't wash their dishes unless they need to use it again..n then like when they wash..they just soap it..not actually rinsing it with water again..n i m like isn't that very bad coz the soap is still poisonous rite?..hmm..strange...but i guess that the saying is true...'wat doesn't kill u makes u stronger'...that's wat we keep telling ourselves here..oso coz like the water here is hard..with calcium n all..so we have to filter the water to drink it..
this is really an eye opener n makes me understand a lot of more things abt this world n how different sys ard the world work..it just sets u to know that u r actually a very small creature n have a very small part to play in this very big complicated sys of a world..hmm..yups..just some thoughts..
oh..another thought is how much can a person sleep in a day..u know how u r supposed to be like sleeping 8hrs a day n stay awake for 16hrs?...well..my amazing sister can somehow do the opp..she just seems to be sleeping all the time..i m really amazed..she has the luxury of doing that when i don't..hmm..yups..that's just all the thoughts for me..take care...=p..2300hr - 110402

pondering mich...

it's so strange like how u can actually sort your thoughts out in the shower...=p..i think that it's an excellent place for u to think things over..coz it's really just u n urself..kinda cool..anyways..i was like in the shower yest..n it just struck me how fast things have just gone by n how fast they r going to fly from now..really..it's like all of a sudden..we r already in the easter holidays of the term..n soon..back in spore again..somehow i can still remember wat i did with all my frens back home..it's so freaky..then i start thinking..how abt pple who lead a jet-setting lifestyle n fly to n fro london n spore?..how do they feel??..how do they adjust??..it'll be so tiring..to put urself through all of that..i dunno..maybe it's fulfilling or sthg...hmm..going up to my sis's place today..to stay with her for a while..be her tailsman..apparently..dun really know y..n to study lor..to get out of noisy n polluted london for a while..=p..yups..it's like so early in the morning that my mind's a total blank now..i know that there r things that i have to settle..bank stuff n all..but it's all so sianz!!..n like i started thinking abt how much i have to study..n there's like butterflies in my tummy..aarrggghhh..can't stand it!!!..y did i take this bloody course??...n right now..i m waiting for the reply from a company that i went for the assessment centre..i went through the aptitude tests n went to the interview..n i m supposed to get a reply from them like soon...i know that i m not really hoping for anything..but it's just this kind of feeling that u wanna just like put it down n let it go..but u can't do that if u really really dunno rite??...=p..1002hr - 100402

mich taking a breather...

thanks ibu n ivy...it's nice to know that i m actually like tokking to somebody..haha..no lar..it's just nice to hear from u guys...=p..interesting thing is i m supposed to be hard at work at linear algebra now..but i m really extremely bored of it at the moment..so decided to terrorise my hsemate n ask him to lend me his laptop..coz my screwed up one can't actually access my sch website..so can't check mail..long story..=p..received calls from like da sam n angie n my mum..in 2 days...3 oversea calls in 2 days..heh..i was really a super mega happy ger..u have no idea..it's super mega wonderful to just chat with old frens..pple who actually..prob know me better than i know myself..really..tokked to sam n gie for like more than an hour each..so shiok!!...gie thinking of coming next xmas hols..i know that i shouldn't get my hopes up for this..coz things r bound to screw up somehow..but i really m hoping that she will come..really...=p..a lot of things..i just wanna share with pple..my life here..my sch here...my frens here..the lack of eligible bachelors here..hahaha..no lar..i dun really care abt that...really!!!...heh..it's a gd feeling to know that pple u have shared ur life with in the past r not really that far away..it's really quite heartwarming..it gives u a kind of glow..a kind of adrenaline to actually get through the day with a smile on ur face...=p..one of my frens over here..yixin has gone back to spore last nite..recieved a call from her this morning..a pleasant surprise..gd to hear that she's enjoying the food..her family..heh..but maybe..just maybe i'll miss her..heh..no lar..i will definitely miss the noisy person ard..to irritate me..for me to irritate...=p..have fun dear..yups..basically..i think i oughta get back to watever i m doing..not too sure wat..hmm..okok...=p..1549hr - 090402

mich with a headache..

it's so horrible when u r cooped up in the miserable library while the sun is shining brightly outside..but this happens all the time here..esp at this time of the yr when everyone is busy rushing for the exams..sighz..
having a headache now..there seems to be endless matters to settle..n it's getting to me..just that bit..i dun like it at all..i just wish that i was back home...sighz...=p..1246hr-050402

forgetful mich...

just a short note to say that i m actually working on my travel memories..n going to do something really nice abt it..hopefully..yups..will like post it or sthg..but the one with pictures will come when i m home..coz no time to do that now...=p....

missing mich..

it's been quite a while...heh..paiseh..1st went to italy..then too lazy to actually post some of the stuff that i have actually written liaoz...yups..somehow..one trip abroad with ur friends..u really learn quite a bit of stuff..it's really an experience that can make or break relationships..esp when tolerance levels r tested...hmm..i m just glad that i m back to the protection of my little humble abode..my cosy room..=p..well..in sch now..as usual..nothing too exciting abt that...hard at work..heh..i dun think so..considering i m actually like typing this thing..actually..the sch's pretty empty now..but i believe that by next wk..it'll be swarming with intellects n wannabes like me...=p..just actually like typed mails to pple who have actually emailed me..heh..it's been a while...=p..not that i m saying anything..everyone's busy at this time of the yr n i know it too..it's like a huge thing..ohohohoh...da samuel is actually coming over from usa in june..mid june after my exams..so can entertain him for a while...oh..n like there's a huge dilemma now...abt my sis's graduation..n like if anyone is actually coming over to attend it..i know that if anyone else is coming..i m staying for it..coz it's not that far away..n like i have a return flight tix so it won't be like ex for me to stay or anything..but timing's really off for everybody..my mum wants my bro to come to see the world..i want him to come to show him where i m living in this episode of my life...but there's alwaz the issue of money hanging at the back of my head..i know that i m not poor..but i m not that well to do anyway..n i really like dun want to spend any more of my parents money!!!...sighz...well..feeling a bit down coz like replying pple's emails only made me realise how long i haven't done that already..makes u feel like if u really exist in pple's lifes..like i was feeling the exact way b4 i went back last yr..didn't want to intrude or anything..n didn't want to like not be a part of it...it's such a mixed feeling..sighz...i know that everyone is busy n i can't like expect pple to make time for me..i know all that..but u can't just stop what u feel inside rite???...yups..hey xiao..if u r reading this..just wanna let u know that i m really happy for u n ur him..sounds like u've got it all planned out...happy for u n envy that u have it n i don't...heh..not that i m hua chi or desperate or anything..just saying it...congrats ger...yups..
okok..will stop my rambling on...
the next 2 paragraphs r actually been from quite some time ago...but i just wanna post it anyways...=p..1714hr-040402

dreamy mich…

hey..at home now typing this n posting it later tmr or sthg..coz like the bt line at home is screwed up..=p..the 3 of us on the top floor of the hse today in a very sianz mood..not willing to do any proper work or anything..so like we r all bored..heh..started playing with our hair…like yixin started playing with mine..then plaited xiaoxiao’s..then mine..then I did the french braid for her..even if her hair is shorter..it’s quite fun..i guess that Tuesdays r very stressful for us all…for me, I know that this is the worst day of the wk..so heh..i just come home to relax..yups..n xiaoxiao didn’t exactly have a very gd day yest then lack of sleep today made her cranky too..n yixin did her hw n had 4 pages of maths for a single qn..wow..hahaha..n since we all don’t have sch tmr..we r just nuaing..which is an exactly thing..really..=p…
well..thanks to my floormates for making this tues nite more bearable than the others..for the laughter we just shared..n everything else…=p..hope that everyone gets a gd rest or sthg..yups..tmr..should be better…=p…2349hr-190302

sleepy mich…

heh..waiting for my laundry to dry…such a long n tedious process..i m so glad that I dun have to do that myself in spore..heh..thanx mummy..=p..it’s like 2am..n I m just waiting for it..entertaining myself with this n my songs on my napster..i seriously feel that I can just live a life with all the gd songs in the world n that’s all I need..heh..right now at least..but if I’m not in this mood...sports r impt too..=p..yups..played vball today with erik, biye, suehyung n 2 of his highsch frens fr the states..hmm..quite fun I guess..but I m super tired after playing..n like the usual pple didn’t turn up..so it wasn’t exactly as fun a session as I thot it might be..heh..yixin came down to the session in the hopes of seeing the guy that I think is gdlooking..but too bad he didn’t turn up..hahaha…she came for nothing…=p..quite amusing..like things like these that we amuse ourselves with..so boh liao sometimes…yups..
aniwaes..i was just thinking abt this guy who does actuarial sc with me..the other sporean..he’s like S06B sophia’s current bf..aniwaes..he was just complaining abt the horrible course that we r taking..n how he doesn’t want to b an actuary anymore..i m super amused..like I m the one who has no direction watsoever in wat I wanna do next time..but then like he’s the one complaining..he’s a huge loser..i think..he thinks that he’s a big shot n wat not..but actually..just nothing inside..like he has an internship this summer..but like b4 the interview..he implied that if he didn’t get it..it was plain racial discrimination..i mean like if he can’t even admit that there r pple better than him ard..i mean..wat the hell..he’s just a big fat loser…=p..it’s pple like him that I think that it’s ok to think that I m not so stupid sometimes…heh..
just blabbering on right now…coz like falling asleep soon..but listening to rent – the muscial..which I love by the way..it’s super cool…watched it 2x actually..heh..yups..will tok abt that another time..coz like I feel more n more like a londoner..with musical pamphlets on my wall..with like maps of london..piangz…more cultural…hahaha…I wish lar..=p..still the same ol’me..just a little bit more knowledgable..abt like nothing in particular..just small small things…=p..
this has been long..but then..can’t blame me..think too much at night..=p..0225hr-210302